Migration

I will be soon migrating to my own domain
http://enagar.com/

Reason
1) It allows me to modify template without having to break my head in reading through the HTML code
2) It allows me to create tags so i can post entries targeted to 3 totally different moods in a single blog instead of maintaining separate blogs.

Change happens.

A man was talking to his grandson.
"Tommy, I was born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, copy machines, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill. There was no radar, credit cards, pantyhose, fast food, pizza joints, computers, lasers or ballpoint pens. The only 'aids' we knew of were helpers in the school office, chips came from wood, hardware came from hardware store and software wasn't even a word. Only millionaires had air conditioners, dishwashers, or clothes dryers. Our clothes dried outside, in fresh air and sunshine. Not only had man not walked on the moon, nothing had ever gone into space, and no one had even broken the sound barrier. Families got married first and lived together after. Most families had a father and a mother. Until I was 25, I called any man older than I, 'Sir.' After 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'Sir.' We didn't have gay rights, equality for women, dual careers, daycare centers, or group therapy. Many schools were racially segregated. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. We were taught the difference between right and wrong and to take responsibility for our actions. Serving your country was a privilege. Living here was an even bigger privilege. 'Having a meaningful relationship' meant getting along with your cousins. Time-sharing meant spending time with your family. Grass was mowed, coke came in cold bottles, pot was for cooking and rock music was a lullaby from grandma. We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, MP3s, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to the radio. Anything that said 'Made in Japan' was junk. There was no instant coffee, let alone a four-dollar cup of coffee. We had 5 & 10-cent stores that actually sold things for those prices. Ice-cream cones, phone calls, streetcar rides, and Coke all cost a nickel. Postage stamps cost 3¢ and postcards a penny. You could buy a new car for $600 and fill it with gas at 11¢ a gallon, but it had almost no safety equipment, not even a seat belt. We even thought a woman needed a man to have a baby."
"Gosh, Grandpa. Just how old are you, anyway?" asked Tommy.
His grandfather replied, "I am 59."

The only thing constant is "change"

ladykiller

A young woman gazed up from her hospital bed at the very handsome doctor who was examining her chart. She fluttered her eyelids and said, “They tell me that your are a real lady killer.” The doctor smiled and shook his head. “No, I make no distinction between the sexes.”

REACTIONS TO THE MARKET CRASH

THE STOCK market rollercoaster has left many people dazed and confused, if not broke. Hindustan Times decided to ask some of the finest

minds around about what they thought of the crash, boom, bang on the BSE.

MANEKA GANDHI: What did you expect! I have it from reliable sources that those stupid brokers had been running a bull market, alternating it with a bear market. Disgusting! Serves them right.

BAL THACKERAY: It's providence. The government should have renamed the BSE the Chhatrapati Shivaji Stock Exchange. Fits in nicely in the area too, since it's pretty close to the Chhatrapati Shivaji Vaastu Sangrahalaya [the museum, in case you didn't know] and the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus.

MALIKA SHERAWAT: It's the Sen-sex, after all. So it goes up and down, up and down, up and down...

ARJUN SINGH: The HRD Ministry is proposing a 27 per cent reservation on the 30-share index for penny stocks, since they may be considered backward. The current 'correction' is nothing but a manifestation of years of neglect of such shares.

SHAYAN MUNSHI: I saw nothing, I heard nothing, I don't even speak Hindi.

ESHA DEOL: Sen? Sex? Isn't that the story of my latest movie, Ankahee?

SALMAN KHAN: Let's just shoot those damn bears!

LALU PRASAD YADAV: Kya bole? Bull bhaag gaye? Arre, hamaare paas bahut hai, ek do le jaaon. As it is, Nitish Kumar has taken over our bungalow and we have nowhere to keep them.

MANMOHAN SINGH: We're introducing a bill making it illegal for the Sensex to fall below the 10,500-point mark. Brokerages are, after all, offices of profit.

BILL CLINTON: Sen-sex? I did not have sex-ual relations with that woman, Miss Sen.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Let's bomb the BSE!

quote from simpson

I found a wonderful quote in the Simpson in which the junior was saying:
I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!

value our veterans

SENIORS are more valuable than any
of the younger generations:

We have silver in our hair.
We have gold in our teeth.
We have stones in our kidneys.
We have lead in our feet.
And . . .
We are loaded with natural gas.
*********************************
HUSBAND: Leave me alone!
WIFE: It won't take long.

HUSBAND: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.
WIFE: I can't sleep without it.

HUSBAND: Why do you think of things like this
in the middle of the night?
WIFE: Because I'm Hot.

HUSBAND: You get hot at the damnedest times.
WIFE: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.

HUSBAND: If you love me you'd be more considerate.
Wife: You don't love me anymore.

HUSBAND: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.
WIFE: (Sob-Sob)

HUSBAND: Alright, I'll do it.
WIFE: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?

HUSBAND: I can't find it.
WIFE: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!

HUSBAND: There! Are you satisfied?
WIFE: Oh, yes, honey.

HUSBAND: Is it up far enough?
WIFE: Oh, that's fine.

HUSBAND: Now go to sleep and from now on
when you want the window open, do it yourself.

Maths teacher got arrested

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult, "Gonzales said. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value.

They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.

Pathetic cooking

A newlywed is trying to console his little bride, who sprawled, dissolved in tears on the couch. “Darling’” he implored, “Believe me. I never said you were a terrible cook. I merely pointed out that our garbage disposal has developed an ulcer.”

business

A shy, drunken, innocent young man walked up to a beautiful young woman in a pub and said: "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Yes I do," replied the beautiful young woman, "But go ahead, as I'm sure you're going to ask me anyway..."

"OK," said the shy, drunken, innocent young man, "How many men have you slept with?"

"That's none of your business!" snapped the woman.

"Oh, cool!" said the young man. "I didn't realize you made a living at it!

life of a teacher

After being interviewed by the school principal, the prospective teacher said, "Let me make sure I've got this right: you want me to take a room full of kids, fill them with a love for learning, instill pride in their ethnicity, maintain a safe environment, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, check their heads for lice, censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for weapons, raise their self esteem, teach them patriotism, citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, how to apply for a job, recognize signs of anti-social behavior, make sure they all pass mandatory state exams (even those who don't attend regularly or finish assignments), give every student an equal education (regardless of mental or physical handicaps), communicate regularly with their parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, email, and report card, provide many of my own supplies since you have no budget to do so, and all on a salary that qualifies my family for food stamps? You expect me to do all this and then you expect me to not pray?!"

buying condoms

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and
have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event,
the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner,
she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before,
so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist
helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything
there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks
he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house
and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents,
come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers
to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down,
the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,
"I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back,
"I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Men at work

useful Acronyms

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms.

ISDN:It Still Does Nothing

APPLE:Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

SCSI:System Can't See It

DOS:Defective Operating System

BASIC:Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM:I Blame Microsoft

DEC:Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM:Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2:Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW:World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH:Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM:Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of
Mathematics

COBOL:Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

AMIGA:A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

LISP:Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis

MIPS:Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

WINDOWS:Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

GIRO:Garbage In Rubbish Out

MICROSOFT:Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only (for)
Fools (&) Teenagers.

first day in Med college

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first Anatomy

class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the

surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor

started the class by telling them: "In medicine, it Is necessary to

have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be

disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the

Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the

corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth." Go ahead and

do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out,

hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a

finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told

them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my

Middle finger and sucked on my Index finger.... Now learn to pay

attention."

interview

What to do when you face with an unsolvable problem in office

overdue

Mr.Verma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck:
"I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby!
The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs.Verma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.

"Am I speaking to Mrs.Verma?"
"Yes...... speaking"
AEC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the AEC guy .
"What are you saying? It's in your files ...... HOW ?????"
" Yes ............. We have a system of finding out who's overdue "
" GOD !!!!!!......... this is too much.........."
"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"
"I know that ....... let me talk to my husband about this tonight. ....he will speak to your company tomorrow "

That night, she tells her husband about the visitand he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?
What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at AEC, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. May be Candle or Else

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.
Brendan Francis
*******

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly like mine - we were both crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx